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Tired of working so hard just to make ends meet?

Wish you could retire?

Just real tired?


Well, you have lots of company!

The ARTP is the organization for you.

That's the Association of Real-Tired People.

How can you become a member of the ARTP?

You already are!

Now, proclaim your membership

with an ARTP T-Shirt or Bumper Sticker.

Free Membership Card included with your order.


Any questions?

Check out the FAQ page.

Send an email with your questions.





Please read the disclaimer below:

DISCLAIMER: The ARTP is in no way related to the AARP, and any resemblance thereof is strictly coincidental, and a figment of your imagination. Any products sold on these pages are for entertainment purposes only and not for commercial or professional use, and have not been tested for safety in a professional environment by OSHA, the FDA, or any other government agency. Do not take internally. If accidentally ingested, call 911 immediately. Nutritional contents have not been tested by the USDA or any of its affiliates. If serious symptoms persist, contact your physician immediately. Do not use any of the products sold on these pages as a ladder or step stool. Such misuse could result in serious injury. Keep out of reach of small children and pets. Any use by children must be accompanied by adult supervision. Do not attempt to snort or inhale any of the products sold on these pages. Serious injury  and/or addiction could result. Not intended for use under water. The ARTP will not be held responsible for anyone drowning while using its products under water. Are you actually reading this? Don't you have anything better to do with your time? They are always in need of volunteers at hospitals and charitable organizations. Maybe you should get up off your fat, lazy butt and get some exercise, then you might stand a chance of actually living long enough to retire. The ARTP makes no claim that any of its products will aid in the prevention of tooth decay, enhance sexual function, help you get cheaper health insurance or a lower mortgage rate, or protect you from terrorism. The ARTP does not knowingly discriminate against anyone on the basis of skin color, religion, sex, ethnic background, mental condition, athletic ability, number of teeth, tastes in food, drink, clothing, or hair style. The ARTP will not be held responsible if any of its products are used in the commission of a crime, felony or misdemeanor, or act of terrorism. The views expressed on these pages are not necessarily those of the ARTP or its staff or management. For a much more in-depth explanation of these statements, click here.

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2005 Shelby Design